Being a non-Home Owner

This week I walked past a Real Estate agency. "Big Deal!" would be the correct response. But this time something was different, and I have been reflecting on it for the past few days. The difference was that it was the first time in two years I have walked or driven past a Real Estate agency and not felt a twinge of regret or sadness. So I have been pondering - why did I feel this in the first place? And what has changed?

I am well aware of when it started. It was when I finally signed my application for Moore College. The application had been filled for weeks, but I hadn't been able to sign it and send it in. Signing that form meant many things, one being that I would stop looking for a house. I would no longer pour over the Domain adds online and in the paper. No more home inspections and dealing with overeager Real Estate agents. Going to college meant that I would need all my savings to help me through my time of study.

Owning a house meant a lot to me. Not just that it was the right thing to do at that stage of my life (I never have been good at following trends!), but I would genuinely love to have a house that was mine. I love the idea of painting and choosing furniture. It would be great to walk in the door after a long days work and throw my bag wherever I want to and just be me. To know each day that there was stability and security in my life. I think most of all I love the idea of having a place to invite people to, where they are comfortable and feel loved.

All this went out the door when I signed up for college. My future was once again a big question mark. What would I do after college? Where is the security in yet another degree, a bigger HECS debt and no money? Why was God asking this of me? Didn't He know how much I wanted my own place? All my friends were becoming home owners, and my loan request had gone through, so surely it was OK for me too?

Unfortunately these questions have still been plaguing me. Not all the time, but certainly every time one of my friends bought a house, or I walked past a Real Estate agency. I would feel a sense of longing, and almost want to mourn for what I didn't have.

After two years some of these things have not gone away. Life after college is still a little question mark for me. I could be anywhere in the world and be doing any kind of job. But the big question mark is now an exclamation mark. I have the most secure thing in the universe - God, the Creator, is my Lord. He not only knows what will happen after college He has planned it. It might not be glamorous, it certainly won't be somewhere I would have chosen myself, but that is OK. Actually, it is better than OK, it is awesome. He has more exciting things planned than I can ever imagine or hope for. God knows where I can best serve Him and bring Him glory.

I am beginning to understand that my near future probably lies outside of Sydney, serving God where there is a great need. This option would never have eventuated if I had stayed in my job and bought a house. I would have been too comfortable to move, and would not be prepared to leave behind the 'security' I thought I had.

If I had not gone through this process I would not fully appreciate what God has done. He has allowed me to know with certainty that I have nothing tying me to Sydney, nothing to hold me back. He has taught and is continuing to teach me to trust Him, because He holds the key to the future and has it all organised.

Sure, I would love the security of owning a house. I would love a home that belongs to me, a place where I can just be myself and not fear being judged. But I have God, and an awesome future with Him.